Monday February 7, 2011
9:30PM
I just realized something. Before we went out to dinner tonight, I asked my mom to read a letter that I wrote to Elder Bartholomew (a missionary who recently transferred out of my ward). She started to read it, and then paused and said "I'll read it when we get back from dinner...it's too long." I said that was fine, and we left.
When we came back, my mom did her usual thing and immediately changed into her pajamas before she got comfortable on the couch. I went into the living room shortly afterward and heard a few curse words coming from the television. Then I heard some guy growling, looked over, and saw a bunch of blood all over him. She was watching a scary movie. I came to bring her the letter and asked (in a disgusted tone), "What are you watching?" She said, "It's called Asylum." The moment I started to tell her that I brought the letter for her to read, I had this feeling inside that this movie would prevent her from doing it. I had this deep feeling that Satan would influence her to turn me away; and that is precisely what happened. She actually seemed a little upset and disturbed that I came in the room to ask to her to read it. It's astonishing how strong Satan can influence people. He does not want families to bond and spend time together; that would only make them happy. Instead, he deceives them into thinking that a television show is more fun and important than their own child. I don't think that any movie will ever be important enough for me to turn away my child. I look forward to her progressing spiritually. I know that one day she will be able to recognize that her path is becoming more and more narrow as her spirit becomes stronger. I hope that she starts enjoying to read, because I would love for her to get a taste of "Putting On the Armor of God." It makes me sad to think about all of the lost time that we could have spent as a family if she watched less television. Obviously, I am also to blame, but as the parent, I wish that she realized her duty to be an example in everything she does. One day, it will all be clear to her.
1 AM
Wow...I just got off the phone with my sister. We had over 2 hours of conversation. It was good for most of it, but her pessimism is kind of frustrating. I read her "The Meaning of the Atonement" by Cleon Skousen. She seemed to enjoy listening to it and obviously had a few questions. We also talked about the Word of Wisdom and she had lots to say about that... We talked about coffee and wine and how Jesus drank wine. I had to explain that it was new wine, but since there aren't any scriptural references that can agree with me on that, it must not be true. She makes up a bunch of excuses like "the wine back then was most likely less alcoholic than the wine we have today." She also said things that made no sense like, "people back then probably didn't drink to get drunk." You have got to be kidding me...This is coming from the person who said that man has and always will turn to some type of sedative. Anyway, at some moments I feel that she may have a Spiritual confirmation, but what saddens me is that she blows them off and turns to the philosophies of the world. We were talking about my mom and how she is almost ready to be baptized, but she just needs to live the Word of Wisdom. She already quit smoking about 3 months ago (after 40 years of addiction) and just has to stop drinking coffee. Kelli said that my mom is only doing this for me because she wants to see me get married. It really disgusts me when she says stuff like that because the fact is that my mom does receive her own Spiritual confirmations and Kelli has no right to deny her of them. She should not be claiming that they are false witnesses and that my mother is changing her lifestyle for me. That's ridiculous. I know that my mom doesn't have a perfect knowledge of the gospel and in this life she may never; but what I do know is that she does have a testimony (how small it may be) and no one can say that it is not strong enough to be baptized. Getting baptized into the Church is not something you just do. It takes commitment and action. Her faith is being proven by the fact that she is striving to break free from addiction and live out the principles of the Word of Wisdom. She is proving to Heavenly Father and herself that she believes in this gospel and that it is important to her. The more of her life that she dedicates to Him, the stronger her testimony will be, and the greater her spirit will grow. These life changes would never have been possible for my mother had I not received the "good news" of Christ. I will pray for Kelli and never will give up hope. After all, what would this world be without hope? All throughout the scriptures, Heavenly Father's children are constantly letting Him down and disobeying Him, but what does He do? He is always keeping an outstretched hand in hopes that His children will grab it.
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